Personal Development, self help, Uncategorized

Be Honest With Yourself.

As humans, we grow, change and adapt to new things in life. I originally started this blog to get more practice with writing and to help myself express more positive thoughts. I’ve always been positive in the sense that I’m confident enough in myself to work through my problems in life. No matter what happens, I know I’ll eventually adapt and overcome. I’ve had too much training, physically and mentally, to not do just that. But I have never been great at spreading those positive thoughts and emotions.

I’m hard on myself, with nearly everything I do. I don’t compete with others, but I’m constantly challenging myself. Constantly trying to become a better version of myself. I find a lot of others don’t do that. Which is one reason it’s hard for me to try and motivate someone. In the Army, if I needed to motivate a younger soldier, I used fierce ways. I tried to break them down until they realized that they were strong enough to withstand and overcome their problems. It’s how I was brought up. I was torn down, made to understand that I was stronger than I knew. I realized quickly that though I may feel broken and like I can’t go on, if I’m still alive, I’m still fighting.

So with this blog, I struggled after the first post to find new positive topics. To all of you who blog as a profession, or even on a regular basis, I applaud you. This is hard work. Finding a new topic and the words to fill the void of an empty post, that takes effort and confidence. I quickly found that I was trying to build a blog around words that I didn’t fully understand how to portray. I can’t spread a positive message and tell you that if you believe in yourself you’ll accomplish all your goals. That’s simply not the case. Life takes a lot of fucking work and effort to be successful.

So in short, if I do write from now on, I’m going to write my thoughts, whatever they may be. Though I say it’s hard to spread a positive message, I still am not the bitter boy I used to be. I enjoyed writing long, heartfelt, angry posts when I was younger. I had a knack with expressing anger in words. Telling people why they’re fucked up and what they need to fix to change their lives around. I don’t have those bitter emotions anymore, either. Maybe that’s because I’ve limited my social media intake. I used to spend hours scrolling through Facebook. Seeing post after post of idiocy that made my blood boil. I’d see of enough of it and be prepared to write an article that I believed would change the worlds mind and force us to all be kind and accepting of one another.

I now know that will never happen. Possibly that’s where I lost some of my passion for this blog. Maybe that’s why it’s taken me almost a year to write again; because I know I don’t have a following and my words will fall into the abyss of forgotten and undiscovered websites that fill the vast lands of the internet.

Whatever the case. For the 30 or so of who still follow me after all this time, whether you just forgot to delete me or you actually had a bit of liking for my writings; I’ll try and put some more words down with this keyboard. I hope you’re all doing well and accomplishing things you want to in life.

Personal Development, self help, Self Improvement, success

Staying On Track

Life is hard sometimes. It never seems like we have enough time in the day to accomplish all the tasks or plans that we have. A well deserved nap, work, Netflix, getting dinner with friends, there are so many things that can get in the way of your goals. The simple truth is you have to work for what you want in this life. You have to find a way to make time for your goals and for what you need to accomplish.

The saying “Life happens,” really makes sense when you start to add more moving parts to your life. You have to work to pay bills, you have to keep a social life to not go crazy and you have to get enough sleep to be able to perform during your days. It’s so much easier to spend your free time relaxing and doing things you enjoy. Consistently doing that is going to end up with you looking back five years later wondering why you haven’t accomplished anything you dreamed of.

You need to make time in your life to better yourself and your life. I don’t know anyone who is completely satisfied with everything they have. You may have everything you want in some aspects, but there are always things to improve on. I have friends who are wealthy, but unhappy with their bodies. I have friends who are in the best shape of their lives, but they’re working jobs they can’t stand. Maybe you’re making good money now but your credit is still destroyed from your past.

We all have goals and things we wish to accomplish with our lives. Most of us will never achieve those goals. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s the truth. Good things in life don’t come easy and it’s up to you to get what you want. Excuses are easy to make and sound good when you say them enough. At the end of the day, anything you don’t accomplish is your own fault. You have to go out and chase your dreams. Find the motivation you need to drive you to reach your goals. Make the plans that will help you get to where you want to go. Put the work in, day in and day out. Spend less time on the couch binge watching shows you’ve already seen and spend more time studying. Find out what it’ll take at work to get you that promotion you’ve been wanting.

We all need to work a little harder and be a little better and we’ll be able to be the people we want to be. Life is full of opportunities and there are plenty of resources to get everything you want.  So let’s all strive to be a little bit every day and see what we can accomplish!

Personal Development, Self Improvement, success

Your Excuses Suck

It may be rough to hear, but all your excuses are bullshit.  Excuses shouldn’t be a crutch that you use to forever be a reason that you can’t achieve something. If you make an excuse, it should only be a temporary thing. Letting excuses become habitual just makes you the source of your problems. 

Not working out for one day because you got off work late and you have to be back at work early in the morning is a reasonable excuse. But then you go the next day. If you look back a year later and you haven’t reached any of your fitness goals and you say that your excuse is because you work too much, that’s an entirely different case.

Not putting that savings into the bank this month because you need new tires is a reasonable excuse. But you continue with your savings the next month. If you look back a year later and have no money saved and you claim that you don’t make enough money to be able to start a savings, that’s an entirely different case.

Excuses are not crutches that you can blame for never doing shit with your life. It is far easier to make excuses than it is to put in work and accomplish something, which is why everyone nowadays has an excuse for everything.  Sitting at home watching Netflix is more enjoyable to most people than researching ways to advance in your career or spending some time on a treadmill.

We all put off so many things and make reasons that we then put effort into justifying. If you tell yourself a lie long enough it’ll become truth in your mind. The simple fact is, if you want something, you can get it. There are successful people who have become titans of their industry and they came from nothing. There are professional runners who are missing legs.

In life you have hunger and you have excuses. If you’re hungry enough to achieve a goal, then you will find a way. I know you’ve heard it before, but anything in life is possible. If you’re saying it’s not, then you just haven’t tried hard enough to find a way.

So, take a moment to really think about your life and the things you want or wanted to accomplish. Think about your excuses and reasons that stopped you from achieving your goals. Be honest with yourself and imagine the possibility that maybe you can reach your goals and the real reason you haven’t is because you’ve been too weak to do so.  Life isn’t going to hand you success, it’ll give you the tools to get it yourself if you look hard enough. So go out there, get hungry for success, stop making excuses and go dominate your life!

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Personal Development

Focus On Yourself

Most people in life spend too much time focusing on helping other people. Whether it be a troubled family member you’re constantly going out of your way to help or just a friend who seems to only be concerned with telling you about their problems in life, we seem to put a lot of our focus on other peoples problems and not our own.

I’m not trying to tell you that you need to cut out everyone close in your life, but you may need to start considering some of your relationships. Surround yourself with people who can offer you something. It doesn’t have to be anything monetary, but surround yourself with good people.

Find friends who share similar interests with you who you can bounce ideas off of. Find mentors who are successful in your field who you can learn from. Join social groups or even online forums dedicated to topics that interest you. Being around and talking to like minded individuals can really take you to new levels in areas of your life.

You don’t need people in your life who seem to always be asking you for help. The same thought process goes to helping people overcoming addictions. If you’re a struggling heroin addict, you getting clean and hanging out with your old group of friends who are all using heroin is only going to drag you back down with them. We are who we surround ourselves with.

If you have friends or even family members who are dragging you down, cut your ties and move on. It sounds like a harsh thing to do and it may be hard for a while, but being around negativity is only going to make your life more negative.

It’s not hard nowadays, especially with the resources we have online, to find groups and meet new people. Everything that you do in life needs to be a step to improving yourself. Getting around the right group of people can help improve your life in many ways.

I talk to people nearly everyday who find themselves in situations they don’t want to be in due to other people in their life. If you get caught riding in a vehicle with someone who has drugs on them, you’re getting charged with that too. Everyone of them I talk to says that they know they shouldn’t be with that person anymore as they do nothing but make their life more difficult.

You shouldn’t put yourself through these things because you’re worried about upsetting someone else. You need your close friends and family and people to support you in life, but beyond that, it’s all about you. It’s a cold truth, but no one is capable of doing anything for you. If you want something, you have to be the one to go out and get it. No one can work your job for you or change your mentality for you.

Start cutting out the negatives in your life and realize your potential. Toxic relationships do nothing but bring you down and hold you back from achieving success. Put your energy and focus in yourself, in all aspects, and worry about becoming the best you possible.

Personal Development, Self Improvement, success

Forget About Your Why

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I’ve seen countless speeches, articles and videos that all focus on you needing to find your “why” in life. Find your why and that will give you the motivation you need to accomplish anything. That seems to be the main center of focus in all of these examples and they’re usually filled with some motivational story of someone accomplishing something great because they had a strong why.

Your why is the reason you do something in life. Whatever goals you have in life, there has to be a reason that you want to achieve them. Your why becomes the drive you need to keep you going to do whatever it takes. Whether it be your family, your spouse or just a desire to have a life that offers more than the upbringing you had as a child, your why is made out to be everything.

But what happens once you have that why? It’s easy to say “I want to be a millionaire to give my wife the best, most stress free life possible.” But then what? The world isn’t going to simply hand you everything you desire just because you have a good reason. No matter how meaningful or powerful your why is, you need to put in a lot of effort in figuring out your “how”.

How are you going to fulfill these fantasies and desires that you have? What is it going to take for you to achieve all of these goals? If your plan is just to get a why and think that motivation alone will carry you there, then I have some bad news for you: the world doesn’t work that way. Your “how” in life is just as important, if not more so, than your “why”. 

You need to have a plan. You dreaming up some insane goals backed by a powerful why means nothing if you don’t figure out how you’re going to get to your end goal. Figure out exactly what it’s going to take for you to get there, look at other examples of people who have achieved similar success and try to walk a path similar to theirs. The good news about living in a world with seemingly so many successful people is there’s a good chance that no matter what your goals are, there’s more than likely an example of someone who has accomplished the same goals before who you can use as a guideline.

All of these motivational speeches and blogs centered around a why can be a very motivating thing in your life. It can open your mind to new ideas and possibly give you that drive that you’ve been missing in life. But again, you need to put a plan into action once you have that motivation and reasoning set into place.

Invest in yourself. Study whatever profession it is you plan on excelling at. Find out everything you possibly can on the topics that interest you. If your goals revolve around finances, which most do, then research every way possible to make money. If you need to get a degree to get the job you want, then go back to school. If you already have the job but need to move up the company ladder, then start investing your time daily to studying that field and becoming the most knowledgeable person you can. Be the hardest worker in your office. Show up early and stay late.

Figure out how much money you need to start saving to get your savings account where you need it to be. Pick up one of the endless books on investing and learn how you can use the money you currently have to make more. Find out ways to make money on the side, whether it be from monetizing a hobby you have or finding random small jobs online that pay cash. Until you get to where you want to be in life, you’re not too good to do anything. 

Finding your why and having someone tell you that’s all it takes in life makes you feel good, it’s an empowering feeling. But that’s the easy part. Once your why is taken care of you have to figure out your how. And that’s where the work comes in. Putting together a plan or multiple plans and holding yourself accountable to following through with them. Dealing with the daily challenges that life throws at you while still ensuring you’re staying invested in your goals.

Your why is the backbone of what you do, your how is the rest of the body. You need a plan that’s not only full proof in taking you to where you want to go, but it needs to be achievable too. Becoming a millionaire in six months working at a fast food restaurant most likely isn’t going to work out for you. You need a plan that offers a realistic time frame and a realistic amount of work to get you there in that amount of time.

If you don’t see yourself reaching your goals doing what you’re currently doing, then branch out and take a leap into the next phase of your life. Comfort zones are comfortable for a reason, because they don’t challenge us. Not being challenged leads to mediocrity and that leads to you never accomplishing what you originally set out to accomplish. Nearly every successful person in life failed many, many times before they finally made it. It may not be easy to get to where you want to be, but it’s possible. Anything is possible if you have a strong why and an even stronger, well formulated plan.

So once you get the easy part over with, start developing your how. Put real thought and effort into it and lay out exactly what needs to be done. You could write in a daily planner something that you have to do every single day to ensure that you get there. Whatever it takes, get the plan down then put that plan into action. The only thing stopping you from getting you to where you want to be in life is yourself.

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