Personal Development, self help, Self Improvement, success

Change Your Mentality


The world is going to go on, no matter what you do or think. The only portion of the world that you have any control over is your own life and how much of it you want to enjoy. Negative mentalities and habits can bring people down and destroy lives.

So change your mentality. Stop all of the complaining, stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop making excuses.

I’m not trying to make a point that if you deal with clinical depression or something similar that all you need to do is change your attitude on life. If it was that simple and I was the one who figured it out then I’d be rich and the world would turn into a happy Disney movie. But I’m not rich and the world definitely isn’t anything close to a happy kids movie.

The point I want to try and get across is that your mentality goes a long way, further than many people ever realize. I think most people are unhappy with at least portions of their lives. It could be their work, their living situation, the car they drive, maybe even their spouse. Everyone has something in life that they’re unhappy about and that especially goes for Americans. We live in a country that revolves around the idea that excess money and inanimate objects are the most important parts of our lives.

Your public image and bank account matter more to most people than who you actually are. And it’s very easy to get wrapped up into that. This can easily lead to depression, or at least the feelings of depression. This may not bode well with some of you, but I believe that a lot of people who are sad and feeling down nowadays do it to themselves. Why did the rates of depression sky rocket over the past decade? Is it because people finally started talking about it? Or is it because we’ve created a world for ourselves where we’re constantly comparing our situations to others and realizing that our lives suck because we don’t have everything we think we need to be happy?

If you’re reading this right now from a tablet, phone or computer, sitting under a roof protecting you from the outdoors, able to go to the bathroom that uses running water inside of your home, and can look over at your fridge and know there’s food inside of it, then you have more reasons to be happy than millions of others who are alive right now. Add to that you having a way to get to work that doesn’t involve you walking or riding a horse, then you’re living like royalty. But only if you believe that you are.

Human beings are animals, we just have a higher capacity to learn and a greater desire for luxuries. Humans hundreds of years ago were able to live with no technology whatsoever. No plumbing. No gas or electric powered transportation and no cell phones. They were fine. We progressed as a race and now we have all of these amazing inventions and improvements to use. The most complicated part about them is learning to look at them as additions to your life, not necessities.

We constantly want more. And that is a want that progresses every day. Every year cars are being released with more and more gadgets and technologies built into them that you HAVE TO HAVE in order to drive. New phones are being released monthly, all offering new techs that you NEED in your daily life. Refrigerators are being built with touchscreens on them containing apps that you CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT. These things are all great and they’re wonderful to have, or so I’m told.

But what happens if you’re a person who doesn’t have that? Now all of the wonderful things and blessings you do have in life just seem like they aren’t enough. You don’t make enough money. You don’t have the nice things that are constantly being thrown in your face via advertising. Your spouse doesn’t compare to all the models you’re seeing all over social media and in every movie you watch.

Your life doesn’t suck, your perception of it does. Take some time to really sit down and think about what you legitimately need to live. If you didn’t have everything you came up with, then guess what? You wouldn’t be alive.

Sure many things in life that aren’t a necessity can make your life easier and more enjoyable. But you don’t need them. And you’re wanting them could be causing your feelings of sadness.

A good night for me is sitting on my couch with my wife and watching a movie or show. Nothing special. I don’t want to go to a club every night and spend hundreds of dollars. I don’t want to always take random spontaneous trips around the world. These things might be fun and nice, but I’ve learned and accepted how to live within my means, and that has made me a much happier person.

Sure there are still a lot of things I want. But I’m realistic with them. I may want a bigger TV or a nicer vehicle, but instead of getting sad about what I don’t have, I first learn to enjoy what I do have. My car is nothing special, but it’s newer and nicer than a lot of other cars that I see. It’s reliable and gets me to where I need to go. I mean really, that’s what vehicles are designed for. Everything else is just an added luxury.

After I learn to appreciate what I have, I then set reasonable goals for what I’m wanting next. Okay so I want a new car, what differences do I want in that vehicle from what I have now and why do I need those things on the new car? Next, how can I get the car? Do I need to start saving more money? Do I need to make higher payments on my current car to get down my negative equity? Do I need to bring in a second source of income so that I can afford the new higher car payments?

Once I’ve set my goals, I start working on achieving them. There’s no point in feeling sad or defeated over things you don’t have if you don’t have a plan to eventually get them. And if you’re working towards a plan then you can’t be upset by it because you know it’s something that you will one day achieve.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, comparisons can make or break your mentality and views on life. It’s good to compare yourself to others because it gives you something to strive for. But comparing yourself to people who are at a level you can’t yet compete with does nothing good for you. Don’t compare your Honda to a Ferrari. Instead compare it to your neighbors Mercedes. Once you reach that goal then worry about the next level. Don’t compare your income to Bill Gate’s, compare it to your managers. Then after you get there jump it up to your regional managers.

Stop spending so much time focusing on what you don’t have and getting yourself down about it. Learn to appreciate all that you do have, set goals for getting the things you want, and focus your energy on achieving those goals. The more time you spend on thinking and moping around about everything that could be better in your life is less time you could be investing in yourself and on actually getting those things. Set goals, reach your goals, set new goals and repeat the process.

Tell me about some future goals you have set in place for your life!

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4 thoughts on “Change Your Mentality”

  1. Hey man! Cool post! 🙂

    Most people make excuses because in reality they are narcissistic, entitled dumbfucks. They blame everything on other people rather than accepting reasonability in their lives.

    The reality is that once you begin to actually blame everything onto yourself, you become much happier, simply because you are going to be more in control of your life.

    Regarding your point about comparisons, the only person I believe we should compare ourselves to is ourself. Not Bill Gates nor our neighbor. Life is not a competition (this only my opinion).
    If you begin to only compare yourself to the person your were yesterday and always focus on making small incremental improvements, you will begin to move at a faster pace than 99% of other people.

    Thanks for sharing and great attitude! 🙂

    Keep it up! 🙂


  2. Love this post – whenever I feel myself getting into a funk I often think back to to the people who lived in the past and think how amazing my life would look to them! My constant goal is to be the best version of me that I can be – have more grace, patience and compassion.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is an awesome goal to have! Mine is very similar, I just want to be the best version of myself as possible. And as I learn and try to figure things out I want to help others along the way. Thanks for commenting and adding to the conversation.


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